Home, Alfred Bites Butts

a butt not bitten is a butt unloved

Alfred

About Us

We are an organization brought together to support getting Alfred’s message out to the world: If someone bites your butt it’s because they love you, it’s not because they’re mad at you or they want attention, or a treat, it’s just because they love you. Our team is 100% dedicated to this mission and they are not here (**cough Summer cough**) just because they get to be in charge of something. Live long and bite butts.

“Great brother, but he thinks I’m a pillow… I’m just fluffy.”

molly

LOOK AT MEEEEE!!!

Alfred

Chief Butt Biter

LOOK AT MEEE LOOKING AT THINGS!

alfred

Chief Butt Biter

LOOK AT MEEE LOOKING AT YOU!

Alfred

Chief Butt Biter

“We’re pretty cute”

Molly & Alfred

Our Services

Passion in all we do.

Butt Biting

We offer butt biting of all kinds, always with the mission of communicating our love. Any day, any time, we are here to deliver the butt biting.

all activities disrupted

We promise to never let you finish anything. Or start anything. Really do anything that isn’t playing with or paying attention to Alfred.

Full Contact Play Time

We offer a complete package of all types of full contact play. We do not offer anything less than full contact. We will play with you until you drop.

“Are you seeing this? Is he like this all the time? Do we put up with this?”

Casey

Biting butts is what I do best. I love my family and I want them to know that. I’ve worked tirelessly to perfect my technique and I know they appreciate it. Occasionally I’ll shove my head in places as an alternative, but really biting butts is number one.

Alfred

I kind of like this guy. I get it. I’m really glad this organization has formed and that they brought Dad on as the Sr. Intern. Dad is really great — he knows how to throw balls, get food an treats, and drive too. Keep at it kid, you’re doing great!

OUR TEAM

summer

ceo & President

Summer is in charge of everything. There are other members of this organization, but they are only there because she’s given her blessing for them to be there. In her free time she enjoys escaping and antagonizing her brother. She speaks multiple languages, enjoys watching the news and telenovelas.

molly

VP of pr

Molly just wants you to know that she loves you, she also loves your dog. She would like to hangout today, tomorrow, and maybe forever. Like summer she also enjoys antagonizes her brother but also is always down to participate in any shenanigan he or her sister might propose. Really she just wants you to know that she loves you, do you know that?

casey

outside counsel

Casey spends most of her time on the west coast, but is still a vital part of the organization. Similar to Summer, she’s not here for anyone’s bullsh*t, but she does love being the littlest, because as we all know the rules don’t apply to the littlest one…

farooq

Sr. intern

Farooq is in charge of all things that require thumbs or other human skills, like driving or buying things. He’s very helpful when you need an extra treat or if you would like to be let out, or back in, or back out again from the yard. He’s also very squishy and comfortable to lay on.